Self in head and self in action are not the same thing. Maybe nirvana makes it so, but until then dissociation rules the day. I am not who I think I am? or who I want to be, and ergo, I'm that autistic kid who's friends with Denzel Washington and a snowglobe. Two worlds internal/external, should be and is,--Freud would be proud--superego and ego. For that's it, isn't it? Reconciling desire with reality. Should I desire reality? Isn't that unsettling... like a breeder reactor, making its own fuel, like Oedipal dreams realized? If you fear so much you hide in the cracks and don't get enough vitamins and die, how self-realizing it is. Where are the fora to debate such paradoxes? Decisions split split split into parallel universes there and there, and such and such goes yonder into that and somesuch by whosoever and abstraction.
Go, be merry and drink. Tomorrow never dies, even without you.